The only way to change someone else’s behaviour is to change your response.
Is it time to stop the dance?
How often do we catch ourselves wishing, “If only he would do such and such!” or “If only she would behave differently!”
The bad news is that there’s absolutely nothing you can ever do to force someone to change. At a deep level, they always have a choice, even if it might not feel like it to them.
It doesn’t matter how big an incentive you provide, you can’t change them. They can only change themselves.
BUT!
You CAN change how you respond.
That’s the beauty of the dance.
Every interaction we have with another person is like a dance – as we communicate back and forth with our words and behaviour.
If we keep doing the steps we have always been doing with the other person, chances are we’ll get the same outcome.
But if we change our steps – change our part in the dance – our thoughts, words, behaviours – then they’ll notice that something has shifted, which eventually leads to them realising that the dance has changed. And, chances are, they’ll change their dance, too.
So, instead of keeping on doing the same old thing, but wishing the other person would change, how about stopping the dance for a moment to ask yourself:
“What could I change about my response, to shift this dance – the outcome – to somewhere more positive?”
It might take them a little while to notice that things are changing, but when they do, it opens you both up to positive change.
Is there dance in your life that could do with some fresh steps today?
I’d love to hear your views, via the comments box, below!
Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter,
Namaste,
Clare
